Do you always have to bring a hostess gift? Surprising answers from an etiquitte poll.

Do You Always Have to Bring a Hostess Gift When You’re Invited to Someone’s House for Dinner?


Readers say:

Of course: 49.7%
No, just follow up with a thank-you note: 33%
Only if it’s a fancy dinner: 17.3%

Experts say: “Hostess gifts aren’t necessarily mandatory at less formal functions,” says Robin Abrahams, who writes the Miss Conduct social-advice column in The Boston Globe Magazine, “but it’s always nice to bring one to show the host or hostess you appreciate the hours they have been slaving over your meal” Remember: Flowers may be brought wrapped in bouquet form or in a vase, as well as a centerpiece.

How Should You Seat Guests at a Dinner Party?

Readers say:
Let them pick their own seats: 54.6%
Boy, girl, boy, girl: 28.8%
No married couples together: 16.6%

Experts say: “There are no longer any rules,” says Anna Post, a great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post , backing up the majority of readers. But for large gatherings, she says, “a host might still want to arrange the seating to prevent predinner musical chairs.” People should be seated with the goal of creating lively conversation, whether that means seating couples together or not.

If You Receive a Birth Announcement, Do You Have to Send a Gift?

Readers say:
No, only if you’re good friends with the couple: 21 %
Yes, every time: 73.9%
Never: 5.1%

Experts say: “Baby announcements, along with graduation and wedding announcements, don’t carry the expectation of a gift,” says Post. “Still,” she says, “as with all happy events, you certainly should send flowers".